Who Will Bail Us Out? Read online
Page 2
PAPA EDU
Nneka… Nneka… Nne—ka! Where in the world is this girl right now? (Raising his voice) Nneka!!!
NNEKA
Papa, I am coming…
PAPA EDU
Will you quickly report here before I descend on you? You this stubborn and mischievous child!
(Nneka enters)
NNEKA
Papa see me here. Why do you always like shouting at me like that Papa? What is it again this time around?
PAPA EDU
Come o, look at this girl… come closer! Is it me you are questioning like that? Just wait there let me get you! Children of nowadays… (He shakes his head). Where is your mother? I hope she has not gone to one of those their unending market meetings with all those talkative women.
NNEKA
Papa I don’t know where she is.
PAPA EDU
What of your brothers?
NNEKA
I don’t know where they are.
PAPA EDU
Hmm, something must be brewing! You don’t know, you don’t know. Don’t worry. I know you will never know. Okay, what about my food? Tell me, when am I getting my breakfast? Or you don’t know about that one too…?
NNEKA
I’m still preparing it. I will soon be done.
PAPA EDU
Oh Nneka my daughter! How I wish you’ll understand… if only you know… Anyway, there’s something I want to tell you—all of you—something very important, so please my dear stubborn child, if you don’t mind, I will like you to quickly go and summon your siblings and your mother, okay?
NNEKA
Hmm Paapa… why are you sounding like that? What is it this time?! You know you can never scare me…?
PAPA EDU
Don’t be too sure my daughter. Wait until you hear what I am going to say. Something tells me you are definitely going to be scared this time around!
NNEKA
Hmm. In that case papa let me get over with this your food so that you can start telling us whatever it is you want to tell us.
PAPA EDU
(Chuckles) Do I detect a note of worry there already…? I thought you said you can never be scared…?
NNEKA
Papa I don’t care. You can detect anything you want. Let me go get you your food.
PAPA EDU
This food sef!1 My appetite is seriously affected already.
NNEKA
It’s okay papa. Let me go and get this food so that you can eat and then tell us this thing that is on your mind.
(Nneka leaves Papa Edu’s presence, muttering to herself to express her apprehension. She re-enters carrying the food.)
NNEKA
Papa here is the food.
PAPA EDU
It’s okay. Just place it on my table. Bring me some water to wash my hands.
(Papa Edu opens the plates.)
PAPA EDU
Again?! Wait… a minute, what is the meaning of this?! Nneka what have you prepared for me this morning? Oh God! You know I like egusi2 soup so much and I was already preparing to enjoy another round of akpu3 with egusi soup. Now what have you done? Who told you to prepare okra soup for me? Knowing how much I hate that soup, huh...huh? Are you sure you and your mother have not conspired against me once more…?
NNEKA
Haba4 papa! Which one is conspired against you?
PAPA EDU
Oh yes! It is a conspiracy! (Papa Edu stirs the soup with his fore finger.)… And to think that there is no standard meat inside the soup. Nneka come here. Why is there no correct meat in this soup? Oh my God, if not for this terrible hunger that I am feeling this early morning, true to my heavenly God I swear, I will not… nothing on earth will ever make me to touch this your food… believe me!
NNEKA
Papa this is not the first time you have said such things. Seriously, I look forward to the day when you will actually not touch the food…
PAPA EDU
Evil child! So that you will eat the whole food alone eh?!
NNEKA
Papa this one you are complaining about the meal, I hope you have not forgotten the important thing you said you wanted to tell us?
PAPA EDU
Ahem! That reminds me. Where are your brothers? Where did you say they went to? Okay, please go and find them. Call your mother wherever she is. Please go now so that I can enjoy this food with all pleasure in peace.
NNEKA
Hmm, papa! Okay, whatever you are going to tell us, it better be good news o! Anyway let me go and see if I can call mama so that you can let the cat out of the bag…
PAPA EDU
That will be a very reasonable thing to do…
Nneka… Nneka… Nne—ka! Where in the world is this girl right now? (Raising his voice) Nneka!!!
NNEKA
Papa, I am coming…
PAPA EDU
Will you quickly report here before I descend on you? You this stubborn and mischievous child!
(Nneka enters)
NNEKA
Papa see me here. Why do you always like shouting at me like that Papa? What is it again this time around?
PAPA EDU
Come o, look at this girl… come closer! Is it me you are questioning like that? Just wait there let me get you! Children of nowadays… (He shakes his head). Where is your mother? I hope she has not gone to one of those their unending market meetings with all those talkative women.
NNEKA
Papa I don’t know where she is.
PAPA EDU
What of your brothers?
NNEKA
I don’t know where they are.
PAPA EDU
Hmm, something must be brewing! You don’t know, you don’t know. Don’t worry. I know you will never know. Okay, what about my food? Tell me, when am I getting my breakfast? Or you don’t know about that one too…?
NNEKA
I’m still preparing it. I will soon be done.
PAPA EDU
Oh Nneka my daughter! How I wish you’ll understand… if only you know… Anyway, there’s something I want to tell you—all of you—something very important, so please my dear stubborn child, if you don’t mind, I will like you to quickly go and summon your siblings and your mother, okay?
NNEKA
Hmm Paapa… why are you sounding like that? What is it this time?! You know you can never scare me…?
PAPA EDU
Don’t be too sure my daughter. Wait until you hear what I am going to say. Something tells me you are definitely going to be scared this time around!
NNEKA
Hmm. In that case papa let me get over with this your food so that you can start telling us whatever it is you want to tell us.
PAPA EDU
(Chuckles) Do I detect a note of worry there already…? I thought you said you can never be scared…?
NNEKA
Papa I don’t care. You can detect anything you want. Let me go get you your food.
PAPA EDU
This food sef!1 My appetite is seriously affected already.
NNEKA
It’s okay papa. Let me go and get this food so that you can eat and then tell us this thing that is on your mind.
(Nneka leaves Papa Edu’s presence, muttering to herself to express her apprehension. She re-enters carrying the food.)
NNEKA
Papa here is the food.
PAPA EDU
It’s okay. Just place it on my table. Bring me some water to wash my hands.
(Papa Edu opens the plates.)
PAPA EDU
Again?! Wait… a minute, what is the meaning of this?! Nneka what have you prepared for me this morning? Oh God! You know I like egusi2 soup so much and I was already preparing to enjoy another round of akpu3 with egusi soup. Now what have you done? Who told you to prepare okra soup for me? Knowing how much I hate that soup, huh...huh? Are you sure you and your mother have not conspired against me once more…?
NNEKA
Haba4 papa! Which one is conspired against you?
PAPA EDU
Oh yes! It is a conspiracy! (Papa Edu stirs the soup with his fore finger.)… And to think that there is no standard meat inside the soup. Nneka come here. Why is there no correct meat in this soup? Oh my God, if not for this terrible hunger that I am feeling this early morning, true to my heavenly God I swear, I will not… nothing on earth will ever make me to touch this your food… believe me!
NNEKA
Papa this is not the first time you have said such things. Seriously, I look forward to the day when you will actually not touch the food…
PAPA EDU
Evil child! So that you will eat the whole food alone eh?!
NNEKA
Papa this one you are complaining about the meal, I hope you have not forgotten the important thing you said you wanted to tell us?
PAPA EDU
Ahem! That reminds me. Where are your brothers? Where did you say they went to? Okay, please go and find them. Call your mother wherever she is. Please go now so that I can enjoy this food with all pleasure in peace.
NNEKA
Hmm, papa! Okay, whatever you are going to tell us, it better be good news o! Anyway let me go and see if I can call mama so that you can let the cat out of the bag…
PAPA EDU
That will be a very reasonable thing to do…
Who Will Bail Us Out?